


From Ashes to Embers

by mind_P0llution



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Violence, brief mentions of death, mature language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:33:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25891411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mind_P0llution/pseuds/mind_P0llution
Summary: As a pilot in the first order, you’ve learned to fly under the radar. When you’re caught by General Hux using your force abilities, he puts you in the path of none other than Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Down a knight, Kylo unwilling brings you along on a mission, but will his generosity come with consequences when he discovers your true identity? Or will ashes turn to embers as the force brands an unbreakable bond between you?
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend listening to Lacuna Coils song Trip the Darkness as it inspired this portion of the fic!

_**Kylo** _

It’s been three years of this- hearing her in his head as he tries to sleep at night. Unlike the others that have traveled through his thoughts, this one he doesn’t mind. This one doesn’t cause feelings of unease, feelings of unworthiness. No. Her voice makes Kylo feel _alive._

It always starts the same when it happens. A dull vibration that he feels deep within his chest, a warmth that spreads through him before her words creep through his skull, so clearly it’s as though she’s right there, whispering sweetly into his ear. They are quiet at first, growing progressively louder as she speaks softly to him. Her words-her voice- will be carved into his mind until he takes his last breath.

**_Come to me Kylo._ **

**_I am waiting for you._ **

**_Follow me._ **

**_As we face the darkness._ **

As she utters these words to him, visions of a solar eclipse pass behind his heavy eyelids, her light embracing his dark until they are one.

Her voice calls to him almost every night, sometimes even reaching him in the depths of his dreams. His Siren pulling him away from the darkest places of his mind, embracing him with her promises that she’s waiting for him, and that she _will_ wait for him until he finds her.

Kylo sits on his bedside as he runs a large hand through his raven locks, sweat collected across his defined brow and chest as he catches his breath. Another night of waking up to nightmares and his heart hammering in his chest. It’s times like these that he wished she called to him, that she enveloped him in her warmth. 

He wishes he had more to work with than her voice, but this is was a challenge he was willing to accept. The promise of companionship too great to ignore her song to him. The thought of finding someone who will accept his darkness, accept his pain takes up every corner of his mind. He must find her. 

He knows what it’s like to track a ghost. To find something or someone from nothing. He will do everything he can to find her among the vastness of the galaxy, hoping that when he does, that his very being will be lit ablaze. That their unity will bring life to the ashes of his soul, that it will form embers of hope for the future.

Kylo climbs out of bed before padding towards the floor to ceiling windows of his chambers, and as he looks out into dark abyss before him, a chuckle erupts form his throat. The thought of a future- let alone a pleasant one- has never crossed his mind. He finds humor in the thought.

He rests his large hand on the glass as his mind wanders…

_Where are you Siren?_

* * *

_**You** _

Three years with the same dream every night- the dream of the young boy with the raven dark hair. You’ve had this dream so many times that you can recall every detail even when you are awake, it always starting and ending the same way night after night.

**_The forest is bright as the rays of light cast down through the canopy of leaves above. A group of youths make their way through the rough terrain as they dodge fallen trees and launch themselves off large boulders. They all wear a similar tan outfit made for easy movement._ **

**_A man watches from afar, observing each move, each mistake made by the youths. His attention seems to be focused on one youth in particular- a boy in the front of the group, his stamina and strength seeming to outweigh that of the others. His dark hair flowing freely as he moves effortlessly past obstacles laid before him. He watches as the boy stops suddenly, paces ahead of the others, he slips away from the trail unnoticed._ **

**_The scene shifts. The older man descends down into the forest to look for the missing youth. The sound of leaves from the forest floor crunching under his footsteps. He finds the boy right as a loud snap sounds followed by a thud. He gazes ahead to find the limp body of a juvenile Runyip who’s antler was caught under a heavy log. The boy turns now startled by the older man who speaks, his voice laced heavy with disappointment_ **

**_“Why did you kill that innocent creature?” The man asks,_ **

**_“I-I wasn’t strong enough to lift the log off of it. I’m sorry Master Luke…” the boy says, his voice becoming softer as he trails off, his head now bowed with shame._ **

**_“You could have called, asked for help. The answer to end suffering is not always death. There is such darkness within you…I only hope it’s not too late” Luke says, shaking his head before turning and walking away from the troubled boy before him._ **

**_The raven-haired boy looks after his Master as he leaves, only half of his face now visible from underneath his inky mane. The deep hue of his eye is filled with such sadness as a tear threatens to spill down his cheek. His chin trembles as feelings of sadness, isolation, and rage flow through him in waves as he watches another person turn their back on him once again_ **

And that’s when you wake up. The last image to play behind your closed lids is that of the young boy’s eye, filled with such sadness, such rage. You’ll never forget that look and the emotion that followed through him. You’re heart aches for the young man. The pull to comfort him, to stand beside him as others leave is so great that it’s overwhelming at times.

You wish you knew who he was you think to yourself as you grab your flight helmet, leaving your quarters as you head towards the flight bay. Your days are occupied with thoughts of who he could be. You know he was a padawan under the guidance of the infamous Luke Skywalker, but otherwise you have nothing to go on. You wonder where he is now. Did he reach his potential as a Jedi before falling like all the others? Or is he still alive, having been outcast by his master and his peers? And why do you dream of him every night?

  
You shake your head to clear your mind of the endless questions that plague your thoughts as you climb into the cockpit of your TIE fighter, knowing thoughts of the raven-haired boy will have to wait until you meet him again in your dreams…


	2. Chapter 2

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Your heart hammers in your chest as you push the ion engines of your TIE-Inceptor to their limit. You’re on the tail of rebel ships while they weave in and out of space debris. You were sent on a mission with one other pilot in the First Order to flush out rebel ships following too closely to a weapons shipment. General Hux gave you and your counterpart one task: destroy the enemies before they obtained your firepower for the resistance. You have no intention of failing.

The rush of adrenaline always bubbles to the surface as you descend on the enemy, regardless of how many missions you’ve completed, despite how many enemy lives you’ve taken. You know that your flight skills are put to the test each time you choose the Inceptor in the flight bay, its notable flaw being lack of protection. However, what your small ship lacks in heavy armor it makes up for speed, and there is nothing you enjoy more than a challenge. The scream of your ship reaches your ears in your flight helmet as you press forward on the accelerator to move quickly between two space rocks, your vision locked on your prey.

You can feel sweat begin to form across your brow as your eyes quickly dart along the glass of your cockpit to track your target. Your sights line up on the back of the rebel X-wing just as it approaches another space rock formation, so you waste no time firing your laser canons. You watch as the enemy ship explodes, sending a cascade of sparks and metal into the dark abyss ahead, and not soon after your team mate lands their shot on the other rebel ship.

“General Hux, this is Inceptor 6. The Targets were destroyed. Heading back to the Finalizer now.” You hear your teammate say over the radio, which you quickly shut off with a flip of a switch and a roll of your eyes. You don’t even bothering to wait for the General’s reply.

It’s in these moments when you report back to Hux after each mission has been completed, that you recall how you ended up as a fighter pilot in the First Order. This job having taken away from your previous life as a bounty and treasure hunter. You were always a nomad, a lone wolf, having been cast aside by your family when you were young. Growing up in a dog-eat-dog world your family had to chose between you or rations, and they chose rations. You learned from that moment forward to keep your head low and to trust no one.

_Three years ago_

_You hated mission’s like this, missions involving the “big players” in the game to rule the galaxy, but your ship needed a major upgrade and you were short on credits, so you accepted the mission from the BHG on behalf of the First Order. Your goal was to hunt down and return a scavenger who ran off with a load of kyber crystals that “belonged” to the First Order. You really thought this would be a quick in and out job, but boy were you wrong. Two days, two whole fucking days to track down this scavenger on Lothal, and not only did they have more thrust on their ship then you expected, but fire power too. Somehow the BHG failed to mention that the stolen crystals also happened to be on an equally stolen cargo hauler, equipped with ion canons. Great._

_Lucky for you, while their ship was fast, it couldn’t go off the ground, and this is where you had the upper hand. You had already alerted the First Order to your target’s location. You weren’t cocky, just confident you would have the target “handled” prior to the arrival of any stormtroopers._

_As you moved your ship around a large mountain range, ready to descend quickly and disarm your bounty, you noted a trail of dust in the distance coming from where you last saw the scavenger…_

_“Fuck!” you cursed under your breath as you pushed on the throttle of your ship and quickly dived down to the level of the cargo hauler. Weaving swiftly in and out of the rock formations scattered across the planet, you watched as the scavenger quickly made its way towards a slim canyon in a weak effort to escape. At the exact same time you noted on your radar that two other ships had entered the arena-stormtroopers._

_“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck” you shouted in your cockpit, slamming your fist down on your armrest as you pushed further down on your accelerator. You could hear your ion engines screaming as they reached their limit. Your eyes darted back and forth between the cargo hauler and the two unknown ships; you were determined not to let the First Order “sheep” steal your bounty. With sweaty hands you dropped lower to the ground, your altitude censor beeping to alert you to the sudden danger you placed yourself in. The small canyon was quickly approaching and there was no way of safely securing the crystals if you blew up the target ship’s engines. You would surely catapult it into the rocky walls of the canyon. No, you had to follow it **through** the canyon. _

_You took a deep breath in through your nose, and held it as you tilted your ship completely on its side without waving your speed or your altitude. The wings of your ship were so close to the ground you could feel the vibrations run through them and into the cockpit._

_“_ _Come on-just a little further” You whispered to yourself as you pushed the held breath out through your lungs while grabbing a hold of your gun. One false move and not only would your ship be scrap metal, but you would most likely be dead._

_You could see the end of the canyon approaching and if you timed this right? You would disable the stolen ship right as it excited this rocky prison. You aimed your gun at one of its engines, and it’s like time stopped. Your breathing slowed down, your pulse that was pounding in your chest just moments before began to slow, and it was at **this** moment when you pulled the trigger. _

_You watched as the stolen ship began to slide across the landscape before coming crashing, the cockpit practically destroyed. You rightened your ship before smoothly landing beside your target. Opening your cockpit and hearing the pressure release, you jumped out and grabbed your gun. As you made your way to the cargo hauler, you noted that in-fact the scavenger inside was already dead. You smirked to yourself as you placed your weapon back in your thigh strap before turning just in time to see the stormtroopers’ land loudly next to your starfighter._

_With a roll of your eyes one hand still on your weapon, you turned back to the cargo hauler and opened the deck, revealing hundreds, maybe thousands of kyber crystals._

_So this is why the bounty was so high you thought to yourself as you brought your attention back to the men in white armored suits approaching you with credits in hand. You were expecting a quick exchange, but what you weren’t expecting was another job offer, a **long-term** job offer. You listened as one of the minions spoke through his helmet while offering you your credits at the same time-_

_“I don’t think I’ve seen anyone like that fly in a long time…you ever consider flying for the First Order?”_

You shake your head as you bring yourself back to the current time... The moment those words left that stormtroopers mouth, you felt this unknown pull to the First Order, something deep and primal that sat within you. A feeling you just couldn’t ignore. Having never shown feelings of allegiance to either the rebels or the First Order as they fought for rule of the galaxy, you had nothing to lose by agreeing to the offer at hand. What you didn’t realize was that as soon as you stepped foot onto the Finalizer you would begin having that same dream night after night about the young boy with the haunting eyes. That maybe the pull you felt towards joining their side was connected to that dream in some way. You sigh as you lean back against the cool leather of your ship while looking up into the now desolate galaxy above. It is in this very moment you hear the cry of the ship you’ve only ever flown in your dreams: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s TIE-Silencer as it slices through the sky above you…

* * *

You had made it back to the ship and were doing a quick debriefing with your flight mate and General Hux, going over the details of your mission and any information you may have obtained from the rebels. You counterpart was talking while you were thinking about Kylo Ren and his ship. It’s ironic, that you work somewhat closely with the Supreme Leader but you have only seen him in passing and watched him fly by you in battle. Your only connection to him was through Hux and the First Order. You loved watching him fly though, you’ve never seen anyone so graceful yet so lethal at the same time. He flies with the determination and speed that is needed to win in any battle. And his ship? The Silencer was a whole other animal. Its sleek, jet-black design makes it almost invisible to the eye. It was almost guaranteed you would miss it if it weren’t for its red cockpit and the notable scream of the TIE engine.

You can hear Hux clear his throat before he says your name, “Y/N, I assume you are thinking very hard on the answer to question I just asked you based off your ongoing silence.” He says smugly.

You blink quickly to bring yourself from your daze, happy you have your cowl on to hide your face. You clench your fists in your lap, your leather gloves straining beneath your grip, a sudden feeling of rage beginning to boil just below the surface of your skin. You attempt to swallow that feeling down and reply with a calm, steady voice through your vocoder, “I apologize General Hux, I seemed to have been elsewhere could you reap-“

Your sentence was interrupted by a stormtrooper barging into the war room slightly out of breath. Everyone at the tables attention was pulled to him as he composed his stance, straightening out and throwing his shoulders back before speaking, “General. Supreme Leader Ren would like to see you in the flight bay, he has concerns about the fleet with the upcoming battle and..and I think he broke part of his ship,” the solider stutters out before continuing, “He…he requested you and your best mechanic. General Hux, Sir.”

Hux roll his eyes at the stormtrooper much in the same way you do to him when he’s talking. You hold back your smirk of amusement when you see Hux turn his attention to you with a pained yet composed expression, “Y/N, It pains me to say this, but you are in-fact the best pilot and the best mechanic we have. Given your current distracted status, I’d say lets distract you with something more beneficial to the First Order shall we?” Hux says before quickly standing up and straitening his uniform. You follow suit, standing upright to address your General in command.

“Yes Sir, thank you Sir. It would be an honor.” Again, you can feel the rage just below the surface of your skin, it feels thick and sticky in your veins. You grit your teeth and follow Hux down to the flight bay, playing the feelings off to you strong distaste for kissing ass and following orders from someone like Armitage… _so much for being a lone wolf_ you think to yourself.

The closer you got to the flight bay the angrier you felt. Again, just like your dreams, the second you stepped foot on the Finalizer your mood changed. You were known to have a calm strength about you, known to use your words and intelligence before ever using fists, but now? Now, you have had an animalistic anger surge through you from time to time and the only way for you to release it is by flying. You make it a point to get as far away from the ship as possible, one of the perks of being a pilot you suppose, getting to leave whenever you please.

You quickly pull your black cowl lower onto your face to conceal your identity, something you have done since you were younger. You don’t like to draw attention to yourself, never wanting anyone to know what you look like fully or the true sound of your voice.

As you draw closer and closer to the flight bay you can hear crashing and a heavily modified voice shouting orders. You have a feeling you know exactly who this voice belongs to and why you are being called to fix his ship. Hux abruptly stops in front of you, nearly causing you to crash into his. You can practically smell the fear radiating off of him as he clears his throat and addresses the Supreme Leader who is currently choking a stormtrooper, his voice cracking slightly as he speaks “Master Ren, I brought the mechanic you requested.”

_What a weasel, throw me right in the line of fire why don’t you,_ you think to yourself as you step forward from behind Hux to address Kylo yourself.

“Supreme Leader, whatever has happened to the Silencer, have faith that I can, and will fix it for you.” You say through gritted teeth as you watch Kylo drop the practically motionless stormtrooper to the ground with a _thud_. You watch as Kylo slowly turns to face you. His mask concealed his features but you knew his eyes were locked on you, and that’s when it happened-all of the rage that was inside of you just moments before-stopped.

“It isn’t wise to make promises you can’t keep- _soldier_ ,” Kylo says calmly, his stance rigid and demanding respect. For reasons unknown to you, you didn’t want to back down, you _couldn’t_ back down.

“I assure you Supreme Leader, this is not a promise, it’s a guarantee. I will fix you ship.” You say without breaking eye contact, everyone around you growing silent as the seconds ticked by in this showdown between you and Kylo. You felt as though each person surrounding you was waiting for you to become suspended in the air like that poor stormtrooper before you. For you to be force choked for stepping out of line, but you weren’t afraid-no, you were thrilled. You suddenly feel a sensation of warmth spread through as you hear a sound of amusement come from Kylo. He then storms past you and brings his attention to Hux. That warm sensation quickly dissipates before being replaced by a general feeling of annoyance. You can hear Kylo begin to talk sternly to Hux about a weak battle plan as you walk towards your work station. 

_Mother of Kwath! What is happening to my body right now?_ You think to yourself in shock and in confusion of all the different emotions and feelings that your body ran through in the span of just mere minutes. You tried not to think too hard on the feelings that seemed to overcome you as you had what could possibly be the most important tasks of your career in front of you.

* * *

It felt like hours that you had been working on the Silencer, having found out that the Supreme Leader had managed to blow up not just one of his heavy laser canons, but both in a fit of rage. You don’t understand how a man so upset over a faulty war plan would then turn to destroy his own ship. It seems counterproductive, but who are you to judge? You having felt the ebb and flow of your own anger since boarding this Flagship. You blame it on the almost constant need to destroy from the people of the First Order, that much rage in a group of people can’t be good. And although you now too work for the Order, you don’t consider yourself to be one of them.

You place down the plasma wrench you were using on your workbench before grabbing a cloth to wipe off all the fingerprints you had left while working on the Supreme Leaders ship. You wanted everything to be perfect in hopes that maybe you would have a chance to fly it if he see’s what kind of work you put in. While you know the chances of this are slim, you try to keep the dream alive. It is while you are wiping away the countless smudges you left on the sleek black paint that you hear a large creaking sound and turn to investigate. You are not even fully turned around from your kneeled position in front of the Silencer when you hear a large piece of metal from a ship give way along with a scream.

Just like that day back on Lothal as you tracked that scavenger, you could feel your surroundings slow down, your body slow down. You watched as the mechanic fell through the air along with part of wing that gave way underneath them as they worked. You couldn’t stop yourself as you reached out to them with a gloved hand, a scream of your own coming from underneath your facemask,

“NO!” you shouted before clenching your fist and watching as the woman stopped her descent to the hard floor of the flight deck beneath her. Time sped back up and the broken wing of the ship crashed to the floor as the woman remained floating in mid-air. Your eyes grew wide as you realized what you had done, as you realized what kind of jeopardy you just placed yourself in.

You quickly but gently floated the woman down to the ground before releasing your hold on her. You could feel yourself begin to panic as you pulled your cowl further over your face while making a quick escape from the flight bay. You’re hoping that the woman didn’t see you, that she didn’t pay attention to you as you diligently worked on the Silencer several ships down from her. If anything, you’re hoping that if she did notice you, that you earned her secrecy by saving her life. As you quickly turn the corner down the empty hall towards your chambers you pause and slam your fist against the wall “FUCK!” you shout. Having abilities like yours when it comes to the First Order was not safe.

You sigh as you rest your head against the cool metal of the wall while you try and talk yourself down. You think back to the flight bay just before all of this happened. You go back through what you saw as you turned around to grab a cloth to wipe off Master Ren’s ship. An empty flight bay. It was just you and the other mechanic. You breathe a sigh of relief at your realization before quickly back tracking from your chambers to the surveillance room. _I have to destroy any trace of that event happening. Hopefully I haven’t lost too much of persuasion techniques from my previous life…_ You think to yourself as you catch sight of the stormtrooper guarding the door of the surveillance room.

“Stop right there. This room is for authorized personnel only.” The stormtrooper says with such certainty in his voice while he holds his hand up to you to prevent you from passing.

You pull your cowl back so the stormtrooper can see the upper portion of your face not covered by your mask. You know you had oil, dirt and metal shavings present on your skin from the work you just completed, being in such a rush to leave the flight bay you didn’t bother to clean it off. You also made it a point to bring attention to your attire. _Kriff, I hope this works_ you think as you begin to relay your story.

“I understand officer, but I was sent by Supreme Leader Kylo Ren with a very specific task. You see, he had a-“ You clear your throat for emphasis before continuing “-a slip up and made quite a scene in front of several of your fellow officers and General Hux. He even broke his ship, which is what I have been fixing for the past several hours.” You motion to your general appearance to give yourself credibility “Anyways, to make a long story short, when he came to see my work, he gave me explicit orders to come up here and have that footage destroyed.” You watch as the stormtrooper continues to stare at you without making any move to reply. You’re not sure if he’s buying the entire story, so you continue.

“If you would like, you can contact Master Ren and clarify his orders, but he’s in his ship now, and I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to disturb him while he’s flying.” You finish before noting two other stormtroopers come down the hall. “If you don’t believe me, why don’t we ask them?” you say calmly before turning your attention to the pair.

“Hey! Did you two hear about the blow up the Supreme Leader had this morning in the flight bay?” you ask relying heavily on the fact that word travels fast here and everyone loves to talk about Kylo Ren’s notorious temper.

Both stormtroopers stop and face you before replying “PFFFT yeah! You should have seen the way he broke his own ship! What a doofus!” You could feel your smirk growing underneath your mask as you turned back to the guard, trying your hardest not to look smug.

“So, what do you say? Let me in? I’ll be in and out before you know it, and the Supreme Leader won’t be breathing down either of our backs” You reply before turning over your shoulder to say a quick “thank you” to the stormtroopers who backed up the factual part of your story.

The guard quickly steps to the side and leaves you to your task unmonitored. You couldn’t believe your luck at this point. All was good and well as you reviewed the footage from earlier that day in the flight bay. You found and deleted the Supreme Leader’s temper tantrum, and you were almost through reviewing the footage of you saving the mechanics life, when your heart dropped into your stomach. Right when you had the woman suspended in the air, you could see General Hux make an appearance at the entrance of the flight bay, his bright red hair and annoyingly smug face unmistakable. You were _fucked_. You had to leave the First Order, and you had to leave fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you SO much for reading. I really hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter. If you want to see character profiles for Siren aka you/reader and an upcoming OC, check out my tumblr page @mind-p0llution

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy! As always I love hearing from ya'll on here and on my Tumblr @mind-p0llution 
> 
> Much love- Kate


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